Second Best
by mywonderwall
Summary: Noel knew that he was second best but he tried his best not to let this fact bug him. Sad Dasey from Noel's POV


AN: So far my Dasey writing has been kinda on the fluffy side and I'm dieing to write angst. So that is what I'm doing here, I hope you enjoy it and sorry that it's so short.

Noel knew that he was second best and many years ago he had come to accept that. Nothing he ever could do would make her forget the love that she had once held for _him_. He rarely ever spoke his name for when he did she would fall into a depressive slump for days. However, he knew that today would be especially hard for her as today was the day that she had lost him, today was the day of that fateful accident where the love of her life lost his life and a good part of her heart went with him.

He remembered that night very well. He had just gone to bed when she called in a fit of tears and in a matter of minutes after hearing the news he was on his feet and out the door, arriving a little over twenty minutes later at the hospital to find her on the floor at a doctor's feet screaming in anguish. That's when he knew that he hadn't made it out of the emergency surgery, in fact he would later find that he had barely even made it to the operating table; he knew that she could hurt herself if she stayed this way so he and the doctor moved her into a private area where Noel held her until her family came when he left to let them grieve together.

The next few weeks, as well as the months that followed were the worst for her and he was there every step of the way. He went with her to the funeral, he held her when she cried. He even went with her to get a pregnancy test and held her some more when she found out that it was positive. Noel never complained and when she kissed him after he bought cloths for the baby after she decided that she was going to keep it he didn't object, even thought he knew in his heart that the whole time she was wishing it was him, that she was always wishing it was him.

It had been almost six years to this day and in that six years they had gotten married something that after two years of dating seemed expectable even though he and everyone else that had known her before, knew that she was never truly there. Abby, their daughter, was almost five and she thought that Noel was her father because her mother refused to tell her otherwise. She said that her reasoning was clear she didn't want to confuse Abby, but in reality she still could not talk about him and in fact had just begun a relationship with her daughter, after four years of her being alive, just because she looked so much like him it hurt.

Noel looked into the mirror with sad eyes as he tied his tie, preparing for the ritual that she forced herself through every year. He loved her so much, but it was like she pretend that he was _him_ all along. In fact, on more than more occasion she had call him _his_ name and deeply apologized when she realized her mistake. He knew that he held a very small portion of her heart as most of it belonged to him and to their daughter, but he liked to hope, that one day she would see him as more than just second best but he knew in his heart that would never happen. So he sighs and finishes getting ready walking dawn stairs to where he knows that she is waiting. He walks to her and places his hands on her shoulders causing her to jump, when she looks up at him he notices the disappointed look in her eyes and he knows immediately who she was think about.

"Casey honey, are you ready?"

"Yes." She said quietly and airily as she walked to the door leaving it wide open for him to follow.

And follow he did driving her down to the grave yard that he knew she visited more than twice a week on her own, but it was always today that she needed him. He got out and opened the door for her leaning against the car as she walked toward the well kept slab of marble. He knows better not to follow, but even from where he stands he could make out the heart felt words she says to the one she truly loves.

"Hey, it's been awhile hasn't it, I'm truly sorry for that. But you know how I get this time of year." She pauses and reaches out to touch the grave the tears now flowing freely as she traces the lettering. "I really, really miss you. I love you so much that there are times when life just doesn't seem fit to live without you. But I've got to try, Abby needs me. God, she gets more and more like you each day that looking at her is painful sometimes. I want you to know that I'm always thinking of you and I'll love you always….also I want you to know that I…I would said yes…if I had been able to." She says as her voice is lost in tears

She looks over to where he stands by the car, their private signal that she wants to go now. He gets into the car and waits nearly five minutes before she finally gets in the car and orders him to start the engine. Noel does as he is told and as he is driving away he looks into the rearview mirror at the gravestone that has always caused so much pain.

_Derek Venturi_

_1983-2010_

_Adoring Son, Brother, Lover and Friend_

_He will always be missed._

He knows that he will never be able to replace the hole that Derek left when he was killed in that car accident all those years ago. He knows that Casey will never love him like she did Derek. But he can hope that maybe one day she will grow to love him as more than just Derek's replacement.


End file.
